


The only enemy I can't live without is my sibling.

by IrisofParadise



Series: Domestic AU [13]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Affairs, Angst, Domestic, F/M, Half-Siblings, Multi, Siblings, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 13:57:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20949446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrisofParadise/pseuds/IrisofParadise
Summary: In which the affair is over and now everyone is dealing with the aftermath of it in their own ways. But for half-siblings who previously didn't know of the other's existence it's very difficult.





	The only enemy I can't live without is my sibling.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gangstertogangster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gangstertogangster/gifts).

> Once again gangstertogangster has allowed me to use her ocs, Shauna, Toly, and Andrey.
> 
> Warnings: brief mentions of a ftm trans character unhealthily binding their chest with ace bandages! Very unhealthy, please do not do this!

**** **_Hold my breath and count to ten_**  
** _No, I’ll never love again_**  
** _‘Cause you made me a fool  
_ _No, we’ll never be again_**

* * *

** _Hell’s Kitchen, NY  
_ ** ** _November, 2024_ **

Alexei sat on the lid of the toilet as he typed on his phone, water dripping from his hair onto his knees and phone screen.

**Alexei** : _These kids are so annoying_  
**Alexei** : _ They whine over everything  
_ ** _Taka is typing…_ **

Alexei watched his friend’s bitmoji and waited for the reply. He wondered for a moment if he should have messaged Peyton instead since Peyton had a younger sister and Taka was an only child.

**Taka:** _ Have you tried telling them to shove it? _

Alexei sighed softly. He should have texted Peyton instead. Before he could even exit out of his and Taka’s chat, the other boy messaged him back.

**Taka:** _ Why are they whining so much anyway?  
_ **Alexei: ** _ Idk man they just do and my dad and their mom dont do anything about it _

Alexei knew that if he were to be as whiny as the two younger boys, his half brothers he shuddered to think, his mother would have popped him and grounded him so fast. He began telling Taka about how one of the boys, Andrey, had begun whining about wanting more pizza and how his mother, Shauna, had told him to stop complaining and share. 

Andrey had just crossed his arms and huffed, bottom lip puffed out in an over exaggerated pout.

Toly had rolled his eyes and just reached over to grab the last slice of pizza, ignoring as his parents both told him that the last slice was for Alexei and ignoring as Andrey yelled. 

All Alexei could do was watch and shrug, not caring as the other boy glared at him and ate the last slice, keeping eye contact as if daring Alexei to say anything. Alexei though, really didn’t care. He was full. He appreciated how Mrs. Shauna had tried to save him the last slice and he wanted to shove Toly from his seat just because Toly reminded him of the bullies at school, but over all, Alexei just missed his mom and wanted to go home. 

**Taka** : _ That sounds rough man. No offense but I’m really glad I dont have any siblings. Do you think you should just text your mom? You know she’d come pick you up the moment you asked. _

Alexei stared at the message for a moment. He knew that his friend was right but it didn’t feel right. It felt like giving up and he didn’t want to risk never seeing his dad again, not so soon after having him introduced to his life. 

Plus, he felt like such a brat already. The first thing he’d done as he was dropped off was frown and blurt out, “Wait, are they staying here too?” All as he made direct eye contact with the two boys and woman in the living room.

He’d felt a quick flash of guilt as he saw Shauna frown and look as though she’d been hit before she could school her features. And felt worse as his dad gently told him, “Alyosha… this is their home. I cannot… just make them go somewhere else for the weekend. They are my family, just like you. I want this to be a home for you too.”

Anatoly had looked absolutely torn up with worry as he explained to his eldest that this was how things were going to be and he so hoped that Alexei would choose to stay.

And Alexei had. He’d gripped his backpack tightly and forced a smile but remained quiet.

When Andrey had invited him to play a video game with him, Alexei had silently shook his head and instead pulled out his cellphone and begun texting Taka, side eyeing the golden cat, who wore a collar with a bell on it and a nametag that read _ ‘Valentina’ _, as she perched herself next to him. He’d ignored as the eight year old pouted and rolled his eyes as Toly had taken the controller that Andrey was offering to Alexei with a mutter of, “Stupid.”

Alexei hadn’t been sure if the ten year old had meant him or Andrey so he just bit the inside of his cheek and texted Taka. It was better to just ignore the two boys and pretend that he was at home.

Shauna asked if they would like pizza and Alexei had been the last to answer, frowning and not wanting to say no. He typically didn’t eat pizza. His mom cooked a lot. And when she didn’t cook, they usually ate with either his grandparents or a friend.

“Do you want pizza, Al?” Shauna asked nervously, gripping her cell phone tightly. 

His nickname coming so smoothly from Shauna made Alexei feel awkward. That was the name his family and friends called him and Shauna had never met him before today, not really. It made him miss his mom even more. And Alexei didn’t feel right saying no to her offer, it just felt so impolite and not right. He instead chose to think positive; he didn’t get to eat fast food very often. It’d be nice to have a small treat. 

So he shrugged and said, “I’ll take pizza, sure.” Then paused for a moment before saying hurriedly, “Thank you.”

Shauna smiled in relief then called, placing the delivery order. As she left the living room, Toly muttered, “So he’s normal and eats pizza…”

Alexei ignored him. Andrey laughed, but not in spite, just amusement. So Alexei continued to ignore them, absentmindedly petting the dark grey cat. This one also had a bell on it’s collar with a tag that read _ ‘Ugolyok’ _. Valentina pranced over to him and jumped into his lap, purring immediately as Alexei slowly stroked her from head to tail.

Alexei liked her, she was much softer than Ugolyok was. It didn’t take long before Ugolyok was bored with the now little attention he was receiving and so he ran over to press himself next to Andrey and meow for the boy’s attention. Andrey grinned down and made a cooing noise at the cat as he pet him but quickly reverted his attention back to playing Mario Kart with Toly.

When the pizza arrived Anatoly covered his, quickly turning red, face.

“What’s wrong?” Shauna asked, placing plates on the table and gently nudging her youngest son over to a chair.

“Alyosha is vegetarian,” Anatoly groaned softly into his hands.

Shauna frowned in confusion then turned just as red as Anatoly as she understood. 

One pizza had sausage, pepperoni, and ham. On the other was sausage, pepperoni, and mushrooms.

Alexei frowned in embarrassment as he realized he’d forgotten to tell her that he was vegetarian. So he’d just forced a grin and placed a slice of pizza onto his plate and said, “It’s alright. I can pick everything off.” 

And that’s just what he did for both slices of pizza, everything but for the mushrooms. When Andrey asked if he could have Alexei’s pepperoni and sausage, Alexei had paused before nodding slowly. 

Andrey made him feel awkward.

Andrey was very innocent in the way he acted and asked questions. He was whiny and bratty, yes, but he was just a kid and Alexei just felt so awkward with him.

Toly, on the other hand, annoyed Alexei. He glared coldly as his younger brother took Alexei’s pizza toppings, clearly taking this as Andrey siding with Alexei in some way, shape, or form. Alexei didn’t get it and he didn’t really _ want _to understand Toly’s mindset. 

Toly was a brat in Alexei’s opinion. 

**Taka** : _ You doing okay?  
_ **Alexei** : _ Yeah. I think I want to try and go to bed though. _

He closed out of the app, not wanting to read the good night message from his friend.

Finally, Alexei stood and with a shaky breath, left the safety of the bathroom.

He walked into Toly and Andrey’s shared bedroom, the bedroom where he would be staying for the next two nights, and froze as he saw the two boys sitting with Alexei’s bag between the two of them.

“What. Are. You. Doing?” Alexei grit out between clenched teeth, glaring as coldly as he possibly could at the boys. 

Maybe if he hadn’t felt so angry he would have felt guilty for the way that Andrey looked scared and sheepish. But as it stood, Alexei was downright infuritated. And he wanted them to know.

Toly rolled his eyes and dropped the bandage wraps back into Alexei’s bag. “Chill out, Al. We were just looking.”

“It’s my stuff! You don’t need to _ just look _!” Alexei snapped back, grabbing his bag and zipping it hurriedly, his hands shaking. 

He wanted to cry. This wasn’t fair. None of this was, he felt. His dad cheated on his mom. He had lied about everything. But Alexei wanted the man in his life. He was still his dad. But this just wasn’t right or fair, dealing with two such snotty children and the wrong kind of food for dinner. 

Everything was just piling up and his heart was racing so quickly that Alexei thought it may burst right from his chest. Blood pounded in his ears as he heard Toly speaking, clearly trying to defend himself and brush off Alexei’s annoyance nonchalantly. But Alexei couldn't fully make out what he was saying. 

Until Toly said, rather snidely at that, “Maybe you should just calm down, Al.”

Alexei screamed, not noticing how Andrey jumped and his eyes widened, dropping his bag and tackling the ten year old to the floor.

“Mama! Papa!” Andrey yelled, watching as his brothers began rolling around on the floor.

Alexei punched Toly in the stomach, but not as hard as he really wanted to. Enough to make the other boy gasp. Then Toly was pulling Alexei’s hair and kicking him, rolling on top of the elder boy. Alexei kicked the younger boy off of him and did the first thing he could think of as Toly’s arm was right in front of his face; he bit the brunette. Which infuriated the boy and so with a scream, Toly was pulling Alexei’s hair again and punching him in the arm.

Alexei didn’t get a chance to retaliate as the door was thrown open with a crash and Anatoly and Shauna entered the room. Anatoly grabbed Alexei and pulled him off of Toly, careful to untangle Toly’s fingers from Alexei’s hair, while Shauna hurriedly grabbed Toly and pulled him away from Alexei. 

“Stop it!” Shauna yelled, glaring down at both boys and gripping her son tightly. “What the fuck is wrong with you both?!”

Anatoly held Alexei tightly as Alexei began crying and struggling in his hold. “Well?!” He asked, glaring between the two brunette children.

Toly sniffled but held back his tears. “Nothing!” He shouted all while attempting to shake his mother off of him. But Shauna just held him even tighter, not willing to risk the boy lunging himself at Alexei, who was still trying to fight his way out of Anatoly’s arms.“We’re fine!” 

Anatoly and Shauna both glared at him. 

“Right,” Shauna retorted. She looked over at Andrey and her gaze softened as she took in the sight of the eight year old. 

Andrey was nervous, just sitting on the floor with his back pressed to the wall. Clearly, the fighting of his brothers had scared him.

“Enough!” Anatoly shouted. “Anatoly, you show your mama some goddamn respect! Alexei, you stop acting like this! You both have been nothing but terrible since Alexei came over! Like it or not, you are brothers! Family! And you will act as such, do you understand me?!”

Toly looked down in shame. It wasn’t often that his papa sounded so serious and even rarer was it that his papa called him by his full name. “Yes, Papa…” Toly mumbled, sniffling softly but still unwilling to let any tears fall.

Alexei on the other hand just shook and finally yelled what he’d been thinking all night. “I want to go home! I hate it here!”

Anatoly felt as though ice had just been spilled over him.

“Alyosha-“

“I want to go home! I want to my mom!” Alexei yelled, shaking as he choked on sobs. He stumbled as Anatoly slowly let go of him and he reached down and picked up his bag. “I just want to go home…”

“Alyosha, please,” Anatoly tried to gently calm his son down, “is there something, anything, we can do to make this easier?”

Alexei shook his head, refusing to look up from the floor as he held his bag in a tight grip to his chest. “I just want my mom!” Then he buried his face into his backpack. 

Anatoly looked between the teenager and his wife, looking purely and utterly defeated. It was a look on her husband that Shauna wasn’t used to seeing. She gave him a sympathetic look and slowly let go of Toly. 

The pre-teen was shocked at seeing the older boy crying so hard. He didn’t feel good like he thought he would at seeing the other boy defeated. In truth, he felt just bad. 

And seeing the way his dad looked so lost made him feel even worse. 

Anatoly finally sighed and nodded. “Alright. Let’s call your mother,” he said softly, touching Alexei’s shoulder and guiding him from the bedroom to the living room.

Shauna gave a stern look to the younger boys. “You two stay in here. Clean your room and get ready for bed,” she said simply before following her husband. 

She frowned as she watched Anatoly call Alex. This whole night had been a disaster and she couldn’t help but wonder how Alex would react upon hearing about it from Alexei.

** _Meanwhile, the Li household...  
_ **Alex stopped laughing with André immediately as she saw Anatoly’s name light up her phone screen. Something had to be wrong for him to be calling her, she thought before she could stop herself. She didn’t want to think so negatively but she couldn’t help worrying. 

“Hello? What’s wrong?” She asked hurriedly.

“Alex… Indulala, could… can you come get Alexei?” Anatoly tiredly asked her. “I…” he trailed off and didn’t say anything else. 

Alex nodded. “Is he okay? What happened? I’ll be right there.” She said it all in a rush and Anatoly just sighed out, “Okay,” before hanging up, not answering her questions.

André frowned as he watched his neighbor and long time friend picked up her purse. 

“I’m sorry-“

André immediately waved off her apologies, standing from the dining room table and grabbing his keys. “Nothing to be sorry about, Alex. Let me drive you? You’re shaking.” André offered, following her to the front door. 

Alex nodded gratefully as she slipped her shoes on. “Thank you, André.”

Neither noticed as a fourteen year old watched them from halfway up the stairs. “Could I come too?” Peyton asked. She couldn’t help but be concerned. She’s been coming downstairs for a snack when she heard Alex answer her phone and had immediately texted Alexei. 

Alexei typically responded quickly to texts but he hadn’t even read her message. It was worrying and Peyton couldn't help but think that maybe Alexei’s new stepmother was treating him just like how Diane often treated her.

André frowned, not pleased by his daughter’s apparent sneaking but glanced over to Alex. “It’s up to Miss Alex. I’m going to tell Diane that we’re picking up Al.”

Peyton nodded and gave the Indian woman a pleading look. “Please, Miss Alex? I’m just worried about Al. He hasn’t texted me back and it’s been like five minutes.”

Alex frowned in concern. Her son _ always _ responded in rapid fire motion. On one hand she thought maybe it would be best if Peyton didn’t come, this may be grown up business and not for children, but on the other hand Alex realized that if her son needed a friend, Peyton was one of the best choices.

So she nodded and smiled gratefully at the teenager. “Please.”

Peyton nodded and quickly went to the front door to tug on her sneakers. 

The whole drive to Anatoly’s apartment Peyton checked her phone, waiting and hoping that Alexei would text her back. But he didn’t. He didn’t even read her messages and she sent many.

André and Peyton waited in the car as Alex dashed into the building and took the elevator up to Anatoly’s floor.

“Is Al going to be okay?” Peyton asked softly from the backseat. 

André sighed. “I don’t know baby.”

Peyton frowned and bit her lip. Then even more gently asked, “What about Miss Alex?”

André smiled sadly at his daughter. “Alex will be okay. She just… she needs a break.”

When Anatoly opened the door and saw Alex, Alex couldn’t help but feel pity for the man. He was clearly distraught and looked downright exhausted.

Anatoly gave her a small half smile, more of a rise in the side of his mouth, then turned and called to the living room gently, “Alyosha, you’re mother is here.”

Alex barely entered the threshold before her son was colliding into her. She gently wrapped her arms around the shaking teenager and gave Anatoly a look. “What happened?” She asked coolly, unable to stop herself from sounding angry at him.

Anatoly could think of nothing to say and slowly shrugged. “I… am not sure, Alex. I…” He wanted to beg her not to take their son away from him. Wanted to beg Alexei not to leave, that he could make things better, that he didn’t mean for things to go the way that they had. He wanted to promise that he wasn’t angry about the fight Alexei had had with Toly and that things between the two of them would get better if Alexei would please just stay and give him the chance. But he didn’t because he knew it was selfish of him to make the teenager stay when he so clearly didn’t want to be there.

“Maa, mujhe ghar jaana hai,” Alexei said, not raising his face to even look at his mother and telling her he just wanted to go home. It felt good to slip into Hindi. It felt like a secret for just the two of them where he didn’t have to worry about anyone else judging him. 

Alex frowned as she pat down her son’s curly hair. “Theek hai. Chalo ghar chalen, Beta.” She glanced up at Anatoly. She wants to say that she’ll call him later once she finds out what has upset her son so much but a glance behind him and she sees Shauna standing awkwardly, her arms crossed and looking down at her socks. So Alex just says a simple, “Thank you for letting him stay. I know this is hard for everyone.” 

The drive to the Sheikh household was awkward. Peyton now sat in the passenger seat while Alex sat in the back with her son. Alexei quickly calmed down but refused to speak so Alex just hugged him. Thanked André as they arrived at her house, and waved as he drove back to his house next door.

Alexei wasted no time in going inside and rushing up to his mother’s room. Alex seemed to realize that her son was going up to her room and made them both hot tea. It always seemed to help when either of them needed to talk or calm down and she knew that in this moment, Alexei needed to talk.

“Beta, what happened?” Alex asked, handing the teenager a mug of hot tea.

Alexei looked into the light brown liquid and sighed. “I… I don’t know, Maa. This is… this sucks! I hate them!” Alexei cried, putting his mug onto the nightstand and pulling his knees up to his chest. “They’re both so annoying! And it’s not fair!”

Alex frowned in understanding. She was a tad disappointed in her son’s behavior, yes, but she understood what the teenager was possibly feeling. She’d felt it too as she realized that Anatoly wasn’t who she’d thought he was and that he hadn’t changed as much as she assumed he had.

“Beta, I know this is hard. But you have to understand that this is hard for them too,” Alex said, reaching out and placing her hand on his knee, giving it a comforting squeeze.

Alexei shook his head. “No it’s not!” He cried. He wiped his face and took a deep breath. “They get him. And he didn’t cheat on her! He cheated on you! He left us! He chooses them and I don’t know why!” Alexei buried his face into his knees and let out the frustrated tears he’d never let out.

When he and his mother had found out the truth of Anatoly having another secret family, he hadn’t cried. He’d still hoped that maybe, _ just maybe _, somehow everything would work out and Anatoly would stay in his and his mother’s life. That Alexei would get to come home and see his parents happy and in love and doting on each other and him.

But seeing and being with his dad’s other family, it had made Alexei realize that everything he hoped for would never happen. That Anatoly had chosen another woman over Alexei’s mother and children over Alexei.

Alexei felt as though his father never cared enough since he’d seemingly moved on so quickly.

Alex placed her tea next to Alexei’s and pulled her son into a tight hug. 

“They were digging through my stuff!” Alexei yelled. “And it’s mine! My stuff! They have him, they don’t need my stuff too! Why does he not want me?” Alexei sobbed. 

Alex ran her fingers through Alexei’s hair. “Oh, Al, your dad loves you so much. He’s not choosing anyone over you. It’s just… complicated right now.”

** _Meanwhile, the Ranskahov-Riley Household…  
_ **Anatoly traced his thumb lightly over the soft brown natural design on the scallop fan shell. This had been the first shell Alexei had given him, back in April when he had joined Alexei and Alex on their annual vacation to New Jersey.

It felt like such a long time ago, a whole other lifetime. He wondered how he’d let his life spiral so out of control. 

“You okay, Tol?” Shauna asked softly as she entered their bedroom, closing the door gently behind her. 

Anatoly just shrugged, his back to her, and stared down at the seashell. “I fucked up everything.” He looked over at his wife and felt another wave of guilt smack into him almost physically. “I am so sorry.”

Shauna frowned but slowly moved to sit beside him on his side of the bed. “We’re going to make it through this, Tol. We just have to work on it. Okay?” 

Anatoly nodded with a sigh. “I don’t know if Alyosha is going to come back.” 

Shauna didn’t know what to say to console her husband because she herself wasn’t sure if the teenager was going to want to come back. The night had been hard for them all. She sighed and leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder.

“It’ll be okay.”

Anatoly sighed and leaned his head against hers. “I do not think so.” 

“It will be. This isn’t perfect, but it’s really not that bad I suppose,” Shauna replied. She pursed her lips as she inhaled a deep breath through her nose. “It’s not perfect,” She repeated. “But I’m here. And you’re here. And we’re together and we’re going to make this whole thing work. I promise. But you have to promise too.”

Anatoly choked. Then pulled her into a hug. “I promise, malyshka.”

He knew he didn’t deserve Shauna or Alex. Both women were put through hell due to him messing up. He’d lied to them both and all three of his sons. Not even just them but also his brother. He’d never felt like such scum before and for him, that was really saying something considering all he’d done in his past. 

The light knock at the door made both adults glance behind them.

“Yes?” Shauna called tiredly. 

Andrey opened the door and slowly went over to climb into the bed. “Is Alexei going to come over again?” He asked in the innocent way that only a child could. 

Anatoly sighed and looked down at the shell in his hand once more. Shauna squeezed his other hand comfortingly.

“We don’t know yet, Andrey, baby,” Shauna said sadly.

Andrey sighed. “I think he’s kind of cool. Too quiet. And he’s hurt. But he’s nice.”

Shauna frowned. _ ‘He’s hurt’ _didn’t sound right to her. She wasn’t sure why but it just didn’t sit well with her. A glance to Anatoly and she realized that he clearly thought that Andrey meant that Alexei was hurting from all of this. 

“What do you mean he’s hurt?” Shauna asked.

Andrey frowned and tugged on a loose thread in his parents’ comforter. “He has a bunch of bandages in his bag.” 

Anatoly looked at his youngest son in concern. “Bandages?”

“Mhm,” Andrey nodded. “Toly and I…” he trailed off, ears turning red as he nearly confessed to what he and his brother had done wrong.

Shauna gave him a look mixed between stern and concern. “Andrey. If you and Toly did something we need to know about it.”

Andrey pouted but nodded. “Yes, ma’am… Toly and I were looking through Alexei’s bag. Not to be nosy we just were curious about him. He didn’t talk much. We don’t know anything about him. And we thought maybe we could learn something. And we found a bunch of bandages.”

Anatoly and Shauna shared a look of confusion but then Anatoly’s eyes widened in understanding. Alexei was fourteen. Fourteen and going through puberty which brought upon many changes to his aging body, some had to have been changes that Alexei didn’t want. It took all of his willpower right then to not call Alex and tell her that Alexei was binding his chest.

He decided he’d talk to his son directly.

** _Half an hour later…  
_ **Shauna knocked on the door and waited for a moment but heard nothing. She frowned but slowly opened the door.

“Toly?” She asked worriedly. Her son was lying on his side on the bottom bunk with his back to the door. “I know you’re awake.”

“No, I’m not.” Toly began fake snoring.

Shauna snorted. “Right. Toly, we need to talk.”

The pre-teen groaned and pulled his pillow over his head. “Why?” He whined out. “I already figured I’m grounded. And I don’t care.”

Shauna frowned in disapproval of her son’s sass but bit her tongue. Instead of snapping at him to lose his attitude she sat down on the edge of the bed, careful not to bump her head on the top bunk. “Why were you and Alexei fighting?”

Toly rolled onto his back and stared up at underside of Andrey’s bunk where he’d hot glued over a dozen glow in the dark stars to the wood panels. He shrugged. “I don’t know. We just were suddenly.” He sighed. “I hate him.”

Shauna pursed her lips. “Toly-”

“I do, Mom!” Toly interrupted quickly. “He’s… he’s not my brother!” Toly sat up slightly but still didn’t look at his mother. “I don’t care what dad says. That guy isn’t my brother. Andrey is. And that lady isn’t anybody important.” Toly sniffled and quickly wiped his nose on his sleeve; his nose always began running when he was close to tears.

Toly frowned in confusion. “I don’t understand, I guess.”

“What don’t you understand?” Shauna asked softly.

Toly shrugged. “I guess all of this. Why did cheat on you? What was so special about her and him that he wanted to leave us?” Toly asked, voice cracking as he choked on a sob.

Shauna felt like she understood everything suddenly.

Throughout the initial separation Toly hadn’t had much to say about everything but complain when she’d kicked Anatoly out. He’d been ecstatic when he came home from school and saw his father doing dishes and had quickly run to hug Anatoly.

Shauna felt foolish for ever having thought that her eldest son didn’t have questions and was just happy with the way things were now. He had always been so close to his father, it should have been obvious that he would be feeling this way now.

Toly continued speaking, seemingly not realizing his mother’s train of thought and now that he’d begun speaking he felt as though he couldn’t stop the onslaught of words from pouring free. “I don’t want to hate dad. He’s my dad. But I’m so… I hate him? I hate him and Alexei and that lady. Things were great before them. Does dad hate us now?” Toly whispered the last question as though he were scared to hear the answer.

Shauna shook her head. “No. Your father does not hate you. He does not hate Andrey. And he does not hate me.” She took his hand in hers and squeezed. “Anatoly Jr. you listen to me, okay? Your father loves us, love _ you _, so much. And…” she trailed off as she searched for the proper words. “And he fucked up royally.” 

Toly sniffled but cracked a smile at the swear word.

Shauna smiled back sadly, knowing she was about to make him sad all over again. “I know this is hard for you. It’s hard for me too. Your father really hurt me. But we’re trying to live with everything that’s happening. And it’s okay to be angry at him. I’m still furious.”

Her son frowned. “But you two seem so happy now. I don’t get it! How can you be happy?”

Hearing her son ask her the very question she’d often asked herself made Shauna’s heart break. Because really, she didn’t know how the best way to answer was. She knew every logical part of her being was telling her to divorce Anatoly and leave with their children. That she deserved better. But she just couldn’t. Her heart wouldn’t let her.

“I love your father more than I’ve ever been in love with anyone else. The only people I love more than him are you and your brother,” Shauna explained. “Love is work. You have to work to make it last. And I don’t trust him but I do love him.”

“What’s going to happen now?” Toly asked.

Shauna smiled sadly. “I don’t know, baby. I wish I did.”

* * *

**** **_Watch me as my world burns down_**  
** _You’ve kicked me down and stole my crown_**  
** _Though my heart is tellin’ me to go  
_ _I just gotta let you know…_**

** _You’ve sunk my ship and left me to drown_ **

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics are from Boy In Space's Drown.  
I may later on add a second chapter to this.


End file.
